Rewind<<

About 3 years ago, our church went through a season we refer to as "Staking You Claim". During this time we were asked to create images of our spiritual claims of freedom. I've been reminded of something I wrote during that time, and am finding current relevance in the imagery - the following is what I wrote in 2004:

The worship started with a feeling of great expectation. I could feel the presence of God coming through the instruments, and all I wanted to do was bow down in awe. My body was frozen. A cold sweat covered me. My heart began to beat in a
trembling rhythm, could the people around me feel the conflict welling up inside me?

In the same moment of fear and conflict, my fleshly vision was clouded over with a very distinct spiritual picture. I am inside a wooden, stained, crudely crafted box, I can see through a key hole and I can feel the weight of the lid. I am certain that this
box has been locked for years, because I know this is the reason I cannot move to bow, shout, run, dance, lift my hands, lift my heart in worship. I had seen this picture before, and always from inside of the box. I had assumed that there were chains
around the box, as well as a large lock holding the chains. I had come to accept this position, as I had no idea who held the key to the lock.

This morning was different. I could see the box from another vantage point. This time, I could see the box through God's eyes - His loving voice saying, I didn't put a lock on that box . Look what's stopping you from bowing. He was right, there was
no lock - no chains. There were stones piled loosely atop the lid of the box. Each stone engraved with another lie I had come to know as reality. They read: Unimportant, Show-off, Uncoordinated, Ridiculous, Inappropriate, Unattractive,
Undignified, Simple, Disrespectful. Some of these stones had been inherited, some had been placed with ugly words, some with unapproving eyes, and some because of my own insecurities.

God's spirit swelled inside me - my body was overcome with confidence. I closed my eyes and took one step forward - I stood up inside my box - then another - I pressed against the lid and felt the stones shake - I only had to move five feet. Each step more freeing than the last. Each time I pressed against the lid, a stone fell to the ground. As the stone labeled Inappropriate tumbled, I arrived at my destination, I knelt down, then laid flat on the floor, with my face in the carpet. As I did this, I began to sob. What a simple task that I had denied myself all these years. Beside me the box sat empty for the first time in my life.

I felt the blessings of God raining down on me as I lay there in tears. Since that experience, God has given me many more opportunities to defy those lies. I have discarded the box. Although, I still have lingering fears, each time I come against
them in physical way (bowing, clapping, shouting, raising my hands) I am blessed in wonderful ways.

There is one stone left that I have made into jewelry. This stone says Uncoordinated. I have been wearing it around my neck since I have been outside my box. This stone discourages me from dancing and moving. Each time I feel the
urge to dance, a cold sweat comes over me and I am frozen. I will no longer feed that lie, I will bury that stone!
Like a child I will dance in His presence!

So, that was then... I can honestly say I do not know where that "uncoordinated" jewel was lost, but it's been gone for a while now! (that in itself is a miracle). What's going on now that feels like I'm revisiting this image? Well, I've found that there have been times recently where I've thought I was being held-back from some things... like I wasn't "allowed" do function in certain ways, or "released" to do certain types of ministry... well - those are lies! I know right now with certain clarity that the enemy would love nothing more than having me voluntarily step back into that box of bondage and lies, have a new list of excuses why I cannot do the things that God has for me. Well, guess what? I'm not going back in that box. The constraints that I have thought existed, do not. Knowing that, I will not be held back, I will run forward, as a flagbearer of truth and grace!

On another note... I recognized recently, that although the box was unlocked, I had to physically move in order to live in that freedom. Sometimes our healing requires action on our part. So... what's your box?
jenn

Wake Up!!!

So, maybe there have been a LOT of distractions this last month, but I've found myself this week with that feeling of urgency again. Perhaps, in all the distraction we lost a bit of momentum, and I want to start gaining speed again... I'm ready.

God brought a passage in Ephesians to mind, and after reading it, I really felt like it woke me up. Like, it slapped me right across the face... "wake up!!!!", it wasn't even one of those nice mommy "good morning" songs... it was like one of those "you are late for school, get the heck out of bed!!! what are you waiting for?" - sorts of wake up calls. No time to shower, or finding clean clothes, not even breakfast - just get in the car and go!

I think The Message paraphrase version is a bit more raw and conveys what I'm thinking a bit better - Ephesians 5: 11-17 :

"Don't waste your time on useless work, mere busy work, the barren pursuits of darkness. Expose these things for the sham they are. It's a scandal when people waste their lives on things they must do in the darkness where no one will see. Rip the cover off those frauds and see how attractive they look in the light of Christ.
Wake up from your sleep,
Climb out of your coffin;
Christ will show you the light!
So watch your step. Use your head. Make the most of every chance you get. These are desperate times!
Don't live carelessly, unthinkingly. Make sure you understand what the Master wants."

Don't get me wrong, I don't think this passage is saying that we are supposed to abandon all chores and tasks that don't have eternal consequences - we should still be cleaning our houses and bathing the children, etc.

What I do think this is saying is that we have been called out as Children of God to be different, separate, holy - and that means a priority shift in ways that maybe we hadn't explored before. I think, if we're willing and ready, God will show us what's going on in His Kingdom, and we can be a part of it - we can change the world... we can actively participate, instead of living Christian lives that look more like "theological historians".

In order to live that way, there must be action! - We have to actually engage ... move forward... and Wake Up, open our eyes and be ready to run. So, just like that - there will be change... otherwise what's the point? Some things are about to give... and we're about to take off running!
jenn

Frogger

Yes, it's been a while since I posted. Not because there's nothing going on, but because I haven't had enough clarity, to write what is happening around here. I've got to say, I'm still having trouble wrapping my head around this stuff.

After deciding that it's time for a change, with our schedules and priorities a few major things went down. 1) David was hit with the worst infections he's ever had. Sinusitis, tonsilitis, conjunctivitis + an ear infection and a form of dermatitis. 2) His employer decided to lay off about 1000 people and created more stress than we can remember.

The "2 months on nightshift" flu, hit him - really hard. I don't ever remember him being that sick. I believe that this is the sort of thing that happens when you put your body through this kind of stress - and confirms to me that there MUST be a change.

His job is secure (which I'm not sure was a great thing this time around), and things seem to be chilling out at his job, for now - which doesn't mean that we aren't scrambling to get him out of there.

I'm not complaining - I feel like the stress and sickness and whirlwind of the last month, has confirmed that something must change. So, that part is good. Trusting that God will take care of all the details that we can't is another thing. I do know that God is faithful, and He is good - His love endures forever... what I struggle with is all the details. Why? Has he ever left us hanging before? No. I just feel like this new phase of our lives is going to look a lot different than the last, and I would love to have a preview, but that's not really how God is operating this time around.



Here's a new picture God gave me of our current situation...
Remember the Atari game Frogger? *Insert Frogger theme here* - The Frogger game concept was this: You need to get a frog across to the other side of the street and river, while avoiding catastrophic dangers such as traffic, snakes, water, alligators, and the all important timer. With your Atari joystick in hand, you controlled the frog - and timing was key. I feel like right now, more than before, we are being called to be in-tune with how God wants us to move. It will be subtle, we're gonna have to listen for His voice, over all the distractions - "Jump ... wait... wait...ok, jump now... again.... again... wait... don't look at that giant truck coming toward you ... ok jump ... jump ... don't pay attention to the alligator... just keep your eyes over here with me... good... wait... jump, jump jump!" Once on the other side of the highway and river, we will be able to look back and see all the things God had in place to get us there, and it will be SO great. On this side of things, each leap seems like we're stepping out into nothing - we know that is where faith comes in... the good kind of sweaty, scary faith! It's SO stinkin' exciting!

My Great Grandmother, Naydeen Taylor, told stories of when her husband would come home from the mine and say something like "guess what happened at work today?" and she'd reply "you lost your job?!" (with a grin, and excitement) -
"wouldn't it be great to see what God would do?".

So, at this point, my prayer is, "bring it on, Lord - we're ready for our next move, we know that you are good and faithful, and we're ready to see what you have for us!"

jenn

Pick up your shield!

Wow, the winds of change are blowing. (Did you feel it Kristin?) We've sensed for a while that the winds were about to shift directions, and they really have. It wasn't even subtle - it was like all the weathervanes were pointing west and then a gust of wind blew through and now they're all pointing east.
I don't know about you, but a lot of "stuff" has gone down in the last week or so - big things, little things and really extraordinary things.
David's search for a new job has really begun. Resume complete - applications submitted, and the search continues. In the middle of all that - there's a big change. I guess it's a priority shift and a recognition of our place in what God's doing around here. I can't imagine him searching for a job at any other time - and he is finally a BSU grad, so his degree will make pursuing a job that much easier.
As for what God is doing, well - he's shaking things up. Not in a little way. In a really big way. (so, Cassidy, you might want to get ready to 'sing opera'!) From the things I've been reading, God is calling things out all over the country. Things that need to be repented and ways that need to change - right now! My sis-in-law just wrote to me and said that they had a similar wind change at their youth camp last week. She said the alter was surrounded with young people repenting and releasing deep dark sins that they had been bound to. That there was so much freedom gained in one week.
The stuff in my head is so big, I'm having trouble tying it all together, but here are a few words that have been spoken that I think are really relevant.

*Kristin's vision of gathering tulips - and realizing that the harvest season is short*
*Erica's dream of the storm gathering, the flood waters rising - and the people standing around talking about how they should plan for it, instead of moving to higher ground.*
*My picture of the tsunami - the turning on a heel and running fast, warning all who will listen*
* Carly's picture of someone choking, and standing up to help them - then getting distracted before she reaches them*
*a picture of blueprints of the church - and realizing that somewhere in our history the blueprint was misinterpreted, so we've built the church over and over again, but part of it is out of spec. Now after all these years of church, we have recognized that error and are afraid to fix it because it's going to be really messy. It will take some major demolition to get to that error and fix it - but it's GOT to be done*

Some kind of conclusion? No, not this time - this is just the beginning of some really big things. Let's say this is the launch pad. I say, gather your weapons, and don't forget your shield - 'cause it's time for taking this next ridge! Anybody with me?
jenn

Feel the Burn?!

I am feeling stretched... it's getting painful. I think something's got to give. There's a time for perseverence and a time to change things up. At this point, I really don't know what the answer is. Do we persevere ... again... some more? Do we just accept things the way they are? - I doubt it. I guess it's just time for some real deep pressing in. Asking, pleading - "God, where do You want us, and what do You want us to do? We are Yours! Do with us as You wish!" I know that He will supply the wisdom we need.
James 1:5 "If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him."
What's this all about?
Life. Well, yeah... life - but more specifically, "are we supposed to be here right now, still?"
I mean, David's night shift, well, it sucks. I don't know what it's really accomplishing other than making him tired and upsetting the balance of his "real" life. Seriously, your quality hours should not be spent at work, right? Well, when you are working 12 hour shifts - through the night, and have a family, etc. you end up spending your only "awake" hours at work - far away from your family and home.
The solution? We don't know. The shifts are the nature of his job, at his company. There's really no way around it. I mean, when he's on day shift, it all seems pretty peachy, but then come the 4 months of night shift and it always gets to the point where it is painful again.
With any other job at any other company, if he felt like this, we would just move on - get another job somewhere else, across town - but his job is such that "any other company" is not across town, it's in a different state. Or any number of different states.
Then that brings up a delicate question - are we supposed to be somewhere else? It is painful to even think of moving from here. We love it here - and we love our group of friends. Then again, whether we're comfortable with something or not is not the "answer" to whether we're supposed to be doing something or not.
So here we are.
Asking for direction. Knowing that God will give it to us liberally, because he is an abundantly good God.
Bring it on, Jesus. We are ready to hear your way - if that's here, then give us more strength, more wisdom with how to deal with this stuff... or give David favor where he works, so that he can do something different there. We know something has to change, so Lord - I pray that you will orchestrate that change. Open our eyes to the "big picture" of what's going on - and don't let us miss out on what You're doing! Give us patience and strength... and David rest.

Hang Ten!

For about 6 months Kristin has opened her home for an hour a week for some super-concentrated interceding for our community. During those meetings we've prayed, wept, rejoiced, pleaded and laid on the floor while God poured out visions and prophecies. Last week, we really felt like we made some big strides in recognizing and acknowledging errors in our (the church, both global and local) ways.
I saw a picture of a tsunami. The first thing that happens isn't the flooding, it's the receding of the tide. With a tsunami, the water recedes so far out to sea, and some are actually drawn to that receding... almost as a curiosity, not recognizing that the tides will turn instantly and they will drown. There's another group - those who recognize the receding tide for the danger that it is, they run. They run, as fast and hard, inland as they can - they scream and shout and alert anyone else who will listen. These are the people who live through the tsunami - and are able to bring others to safety as well.
This picture of desperation and urgency, is one that has really been sticking with me. We cannot walk out to the lowest tide, and stand around talking about how low the tide is, "wow, what a dry season", "church has been bla bla bla" etc. We've got to move - move fast, and tell as many people as possible that they too can be safe, on higher ground. Lord, give us the tools to speak your truth! Allow us to see the errors of our ways, and turn on our heel - walk away from those deadly things, and bring others with us!

*Update 6-7-07* - This week, this picture has been continuing in my head... over and over I see the same picture, but it's been sort of slow-motion on a very important part. As we recognize the danger, we turn - we turn on our heel. This "turning" to me is the exact definition of repentance. Repentance isn't just the recognition that there is danger in our actions, it is the changing part - the part where we turn and run from the thing that is causing us to fail. Wow, could this be any more timely? Have you been to thecall.com ? Well, K is participating in this fast, which is about repenting for the sexual immorality in our nation and it's destructive path - it's impact on our world and the church. Do you think, maybe, this is part of the turning? I do. I think that there are other sins we need to call out, but this is definitely one of them - and perhaps one of the most destructive and parasitic. So, thecall fast/walk, etc. take place on 7-7-07 and we are being asked to fast and pray along with them - if you're interested, or feel the pull in that direction, I encourage you to do the same. I know there will be other sins revealed, and we are going to need to step up to the plate and call them out!
Father, make us ready for when your tide turns - give us the courage to break off these errors and sins that are holding us in the sticky mud... help us to see the things that are holding us back from running.

What are you waiting for?

This week I have had this phrase going through my head "What are you waiting for?". I know this isn't just for me, so I'll let you in on a secret... you can't sit around and wait for all your ducks to be in a row! Think about how many times you've said something like "When I [insert excuse here] - then I will [insert ministry here]."
Excuses sound something like this: When I: "finish this training" "find a spouse" "have kids" "am financially stable" "sell my house" "buy a house" "clean my house" "have a perfect marriage" "feel better" "am healed" "have more time" , etc.
Ministries sound something like this: I will: "feed the hungry" "preach the gospel" "give financial support to missions" "become a missionary" "serve my local church" "reach out to my neighbors" "exercise my spiritual giftings" ...

All those "excuses" are valid - they fill up our lives. They can be fulfilled, but let's just say that they don't. Let's say you are broke for the next 50 years - does that mean that you aren't meant to support missions? no. If you are only "kinda" healed, and still have more ailments, waiting in queue to be healed too. What if you are never fully healed here on earth - does that mean that you can't move forward and preach the gospel? no. Now, I believe wholeheartedly that we are called to pray that all those things happen. We can be healed, we can have a healthy marriage, we can be financially stable, we can sell our homes, etc. but we cannot afford to wait around for our "stuff" to be taken care of before we move forward in the things we know we have been called to do. See, if God has called you to something, he already knows your imperfections, and called you to it anyway.

I was thinking of one of those Ironman races - you know the ones that last FOREVER? Swimming, biking and running? And people train for years for one race. Even people in seemingly great shape, barely crawl across the finishline. Then you'll see that one guy - that lost his leg in some horrible incident - and he's in this race with a prosthetic leg! And he's finishing it! Why? Because he wasn't going to let something like "not having both legs" stop him from the goal that was set before him.

So, here's my point that deserves some pondering... What are YOU waiting for? I say, do it! Now is the time! Silence the excuses and make your God-given goal your priority. Let's see what happens!!

Live, damnit, live!!

For a few months now, I've been feeling like I needed to be prepared to "speak life". I was drawn to a chapter in Ezekiel, where he was called to prophesy to dry bones. He stands before a valley of bones and prophesies that they will once again be attached to tendons, flesh and skin - and that God would breathe life into them. Then he is called to prophesy to the wind to breathe life into the bones. When the bones come alive, they stand united as a large army. These bones are a picture of Israel's dead hope, and separation from God.
Ezekiel 37:14 " I will put my Spirit in you and you will live..."
As I've prayed about my place in all this, I've come to a startling realization that we are surrounded by "dead people". People who have yet to know Christ, and people who know who He is, but are walking around like zombies, thinking they are alive, but have yet to experience God's living breath. There are a million different ways this scenario can be played out, but I think there are people and places who need an infusion of God's breath every single day. Some of them are as simple as a friend who needs an encouraging word reminding them that they are loved, more deeply today, by God, than by any other at any other moment in time. Others will be "touch and go", and the situation will be desperate, there won't be time for intimidation - I will have to be ready and willing to speak the truth of God's living Spirit.
I'm reminded of tv moments where someone is not breathing, the situation is dire - the Dr. becomes angry (partly because they are afraid the person may be lost, and partly because they have done all they know to do) - Resuscitation begins, and as the Dr. pounds on the patient's chest, he screams "live! Damnit, live!". Appropriate or not, this is the desperation I'm feeling. A burden for those who are in "critical condition" whether they recognize it or not.
" So, I prophesied as I was commanded. And as I was prophesying, there was a noise, a rattling sound, and the bones came together bone to bone. I looked, and tendons and flesh appeared on them and skin covered them, but there was no breath in them."
..."This is what the Sovereign Lord says: Come from the four winds, O breath, and breathe into these slain, that they may live."Ezekiel 37:7-9

Now Is The Time!

This last month went by so fast! From Ella's birth to Grace's 3rd birthday then Easter - where did the time go? Whenever you have a baby, older people will say "it goes by so fast" - and you smile and nod, as if you were really listening. But it really does.

Time is moving forward whether we're ready for it or not, and I find myself caught up in the daily "stuff" way too often. I am sitting around wondering, pondering, questioning what chore I need to do next, instead of looking at the big picture of life.
Whether my kids eat PB&J or T-Bone steak, in the long run it's most important that they know and follow Christ - and are a part of a family where trusting God and following His lead are our top priority.

This is a song we've been singing at church - I think it conveys my thoughts a lot more clearly:

The winds are blowing through again, so we must follow.
A people daring to believe, we can change tomorrow,
And be the miracle of light and we won't give up the fight.

Now is the time for us to shine
Shine with the face of Christ Divine.
No compromise, for all of heaven cries,
Now is the time.

The river's running through again rejuvenating,
For everything you touch you change,
And we've all been changing.
We're a city on a hill
Tell the world you're shining still
Tell this world you always will

Now is the time..

Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus, King of Lights
Jesus, Jesus, raise a church that's shining bright

I want to follow but what does it mean,
To live in this world and keep everything clean.
Nothing I own here is ever my own,
When I live in the mercy and blessing you've shown.
I lay down my rights; see the world through your eyes,
And fight for the hungry who pay for our lives
I want to have you in all of my world
So, Jesus, consume me, flow through me, cos now is the time...

Written by Delirious?/Matt Redman c2005 Curious? Music/UK

No Surrendering!

Ella's first 2 weeks have been great. She is really calm and peaceful. She eats like a champ, and sleeps like the rest of the Schram family - so we'll keep her! The other kids had a rough couple of weeks, but today they're seeming a lot more like "normal".
Grace's 3rd birthday is on Monday and she is SO excited about her getting "3" and chocolate cake, and Grandma and Grandpa are coming. I think she's said that a couple dozen times already today.
Adding another baby to the mix really did bring an incredible amount of joy to our home - but in the middle of last week, both David and I were sleep-deprived and really feeling grumpy. And in the few moments where it was just me and the 3 kids, it got pretty chaotic, so I was starting to really wonder if I could do this all day with just me and the kids. The disharmony only lasted for a couple days, but I definitely do not want it to be welcome here.
At church we've had a different sort of battle cry lately - "I will not surrender my joy!" I definitely feel like we had to fight for it recently, but it is here. Joy in perfect measure for the 5 of us.
David went back to work this week, and so far - I've managed without him. It was really great to have him here the last 2 weeks, although I know he had to go back to work. I'm so thankful that he has a job where he can afford to be with us when we need him.

Ella Joy

I'm not entirely sure if it was the "buffalo chicken chili" or the Cornerstone prayer meeting - or maybe she was just ready to be born. Whatever it was, I went into labor at midnight Wednesday night. I knew it was the real deal, but I also knew it wasn't time to go running to the hospital. So, I paced, rested, did some last minute chores, bounced on the exercise ball, anything I could think of to move things along. I knew David would be waking up soon to go to work, and I could tell him to call-in instead - and hopefully the kids could sleep a bit longer before we had to make our trip to the hospital. I couldn't have asked for better timing for any of it. By the time I was having a lot of trouble with my contractions, the kids were waking up, and we were getting them ready to go. We dropped them off at Kristin's around 7am, and made our way in the "morning commute traffic" to St. Luke's. I had a couple more monster contractions on the way - and one in the parking of the hospital, so I knew things were moving along. Within 1 hour of being admitted, I had already been moved to a delivery room, had an epidural and had my water broken. Around 10:45am, Ella was born. 7lbs, 2oz - 18inches, beautiful and very petite. This was by far the most pleasant birth experience we've had, and we are so thankful for that. Ella and I stayed the night at St. Luke's and David and the big kids stayed at home. Gracie is a proud sister, but I think we'll have to keep an eye on her, cause she thinks she needs to "hold baby Ella" a lot. Peter wasn't too sure what to think of the whole thing. He mostly doesn't understand why mommy can't hold him all the time. But he has been very gentle with her, and likes to touch her soft hair, and cheeks.
We're happy to be home and resting, and so so happy to add more joy to our little family.
Ella means fearless - and I believe it will be prophetic for her. Lord, bless her with fearless faith, boldness in word and deed , and abundant joy!

Long time ... no typing.

So, it's apparently been months since the last time I sat down and typed a "blog" entry. Why? (you may be asking?) Because... there were holidays, and projects galore... and 2 kids under 3 (one of which has been potty-training for what seems like eternity). That's enough excuses right? Don't get me wrong it hasn't all been busy or hectic, but for the most part, anytime I've had any energy, I've been taking full advantage of it with projects around the house, and when I haven't had energy, I've been taking full advantage of that and laying down napping and such.
We've had a very eventful start to 2007, and it's been really great to get so many projects done in so little time. After Christmas David only had to work 1 week of nights, and then he did the ol' switcheroo to "day shift". Which has been SO great - and I can't begin to describe how much I love day schedule.
David got some new power tools for Christmas and has definitely used them around here. He set to work on projects that I had even forgotten were on the "list of projects". And we're nearly done painting every corner of our house. Each wall and item, and piece of furniture makes me really like our "old" house.
With another baby on the way, we decided to utilize the other bedroom in this house, and make a small "boy" bedroom in the basement. That room had previously been used as a guest room/sewing room/storage room, so it mostly just needed to be cleaned out and "updated" to a room fit for Peter. That project is finally complete and Peter has been sleeping in there this week - who knew having the kids in separate rooms would allow them to sleep-in every morning? What a nice change of pace. Gracie is now sleeping in a "big girl bed" (her silly grandpa's old twin bed) and she's very proud of that accomplishment.
In days of immense energy I would do as much as humanly possible - painting, sewing, cleaning, etc. and the house is definitely coming along. I've lost my "sewing room", but that's been ok too - I've adapted a "portable sewing" routine, and am able to get my stuff out and put it away with ease at this point. I'm hoping to continue with the Nampa Farmer's Market this season, although, I will take a much more relaxed approach this year. I enjoyed it so much last year, and would really like to keep those connections with our rapidly growing community.
Now we're in the last few weeks of patiently waiting for our new bundle of joy - and for once, I'm not feeling too stressed out about the idea of having 3 kids under 3 years old. I'm looking forward to what this spring has to offer.
All of this just to say, we're still here, just too busy to sit down very often. That is changing pretty rapidly as I get closer to my due date, I'm having to sit and rest a lot more than I'd like to admit. Check back soon for new baby photos and intriguing stories of giving birth:)

jenn

The good the bad and the ugly

October was a very busy month, and I had no time to sit down and write an entry. From working at the farmer's market one last time, to having an incredibly sick family - I'm just glad it's November.
This trimester of pregnancy has been so nice, I've had so much more energy and have been able to get a lot accomplished around here. I decided to do one more farmer's market before the end of the season. So, I packed up all my gear and headed down there on a very cold Saturday morning - just to freeze my toes off mostly. I only had one sale (which has been my luck the last few times I've attended). In the end, it was a good season, I definitely can't complain about my sales and I had a lot of fun doing something out of the house. Now, I'm working on knitting hats and scarves and getting a few other items ready for a Holiday Market at the Flying M Coffeegarage on November 30 (4-10pm). It should be a lot of fun, especially cause some of my good friends are also having "booths" there, and we'll all be selling our wares together for the first time. It's supposed to all be "functional art" - and that basically means, "cool stuff you can't find anywhere else, made my local artisans". So, I hope to see you there.
We found out this month that we're having another girl. When we went in for the ultrasound, neither David or I had any real expectations of what sex the baby was, and weren't really leaning any direction on what we wanted it to be, but when we saw her on the big screen for the first time, it was love at first sight. How could we be disappointed with another beautiful baby girl?
We celebrated David's birthday on October 22nd (a couple days late). We had an Oktoberfest birthday party, complete with Jagerschnitzel, Krautkapfen, Rotkraut, and Currywurst. It was a blast, we ate for hours with our friends and ended the evening with everyone's favorite german dessert... German Chocolate Cake?
Gracie was very very disappointed that she missed out on daddy's party, because she helped make the cake, and had been practicing "Alley Birthday Daddy" for a week. So, we made him another cake later that week, just so he could blow out candles after we sang "Alley Birthday Daddy".
Gracie got strep throat that same week, and kept complaining that her "mouth hurt" - so, we started her on amoxicillin, and she'd been on it a few days, and then she woke up one morning completely covered with red spots. I was in mild panic mode, because I don't really remember what chicken pox looks like, and my Gracie was looking really frightful. I called the Dr. and for once, she saw Gracie right away. She instantly calmed my fears of chicken pox and said it was most likely a viral rash, caused by a strange reaction between childhood mononucleosis and amoxicillin. oy! - So, we just had to wait out the rash , it got so much worse before it got better, but the good part was that Gracie never even noticed it. No itching, no complaining, no nothing... it was just the visual shock of seeing her little body covered in spots.
During these 2 weeks of strep/mono Peter got a case of croupe, due to a bad cold. He had a hard time sleeping, ran fevers, coughed til he choked and mostly just wanted to be held all the time. I caught his cold and was absolutely miserable for a few days as well. In the middle of that he decided to pop 4 teeth out of his gums. 2 molars and 2 front teeth (no wonder he was so crabby).
By the end of those weeks, we were all better and Peter and Grace have recovered nicely. Thanks for your prayers, thoughts, encouragement and food.
For my birthday we went to the Boise Zoo (now called ZOOBOISE... which I find too ridiculous to speak) - Gracie has been there one other time, but she really enjoyed it this time. The monkeys were very vocal and swinging all over the place, the birds were out singing, the cats were pacing and the tortoise was grunting. We had such a great time, and the kids were happy to be out of the house and seeing a bunch of animals they've only seen in books or on tv.
By the end of the month Gracie was really worried that no one had been singing Happy Birthday Gracie yet, and we have been assuring her that her birthday will come in a while... after Peter's and the new baby is born - she doesn't really get it, so we've just been singing the song with her in the car all the time.
Now on to really important things:
On the day before my birthday I was participating in prayer time at church, and God really hit be hard with an abundance of joy. I think I laughed for about a half hour. It was really good and really painful - when God wants you to be full of joy, he doesn't just make you laugh, he FILLS you with joy... I am usually a person that resists that sort of thing, so it was more like God forcing joy into me.... which was so good. After laughing for a long time, completely uncontrollably, and feeling like my sides were going to burst - he just blew over me with peace. As I laid on the floor (for who knows how long), without moving a muscle and just basking in his presence, he started to pour visions into me. I'll share one with you, that I found to be especially encouraging.
I saw myself being water baptised, and as I was dunked under the water, the arms (that usually bring you out of the water after a second or two) held me under the water until I drowned. As I lay under the water, dead another arm reached in and helped me out of the water, alive again, and I held in my hand a really big bell. I just took off running through Nampa with this big bell and I was ringing it above my head, running all around town.
There is way too much in this picture to get into here, but I have found a great amount of excitement and strength in it.
The next day, we got an email from our friends at PAZ (Brazilian missionaries) and they are in the states for a while and wondered if they could call us and talk sometime. This brought up a lot of questions for David and I - a lot of confusion. What do we say? What do we do? What are our plans? What are God's plans? How do we know what God has for us?
In the end - we came back to the conclusion that there is a lot of ministry that needs to be done here in Nampa, and if we aren't actively participating in that here and now - what makes us think we could participate in that in Brazil?
God is so good, and so loving. He's given us far above anything we could ask or think - and we are actively anticipating whatever it is we get to do here in Nampa for the building up of His Kingdom.

Clean up - clean up, Everybody Clean up!

Part I of operation "get the house in order" has been accomplished. The yard sale, while not entirely successful, got all the junk out of our house and into the backyard. Then, the committee that runs Cornerstone Art Gallery announced they were having a garage sale to raise funds for the gallery, so I donated everything that didn't sell. Now, we're pretty close to junk-free. Hooray!
Now we just have a few huge items, that we're going to be taking for sale at a consignment shop one at a time... the rolltop desk, the kitchen table and a sofa (if you're in the market for any of these, please let me know, I may be able to cut you a deal).
Now, on to Part II - organization and decoration :) - I'm very excited that we've picked colors for pretty much every room/hallway in the house, and are beginning total transformation of our home. The beige/off-white, that covers our entire house, is so drab, and boring, and completely uninspiring. On the organization front, we're a few steps away from having all the storage issues taken care of, but I think that everything is at least out of our way, and out of sight right now.
As for the family - David is is actively searching for ways for his job to be day shift only - whatever that takes really. With a family, friends and a church family, it's pretty difficult to work night shift half of the year, every year. Not to mention, the physical, emotional and spiritual ramifications of sleeping during the day and working during the night. Please pray that David will be able to just transfer to another position at Micron, and make what he's making or more.
Gracie has been on an artistic journey this week. Either coloring, drawing or painting with watercolors - all week long. I mean, she would even put her food aside and ask for colors. She gets so lost in her "colors", that she forgets about everything else. Luckily, for me, when she's coloring, she's nearly silent, and doesn't move from her position for hours.
Peter on the other hand, cannot be contained. Last night, I left the kitchen for 30 seconds, and Gracie starts yelling, "Mommy!!!, Peter!!!" - I walk in there, and he's sitting on the table (he crawled up there from his booster), he sat there with a huge grin on his face. He will eat for an entire hour, peas, carrots, cereal, water - and then if someone else eats in front of him, he cries until he gets more! - From everything I have read, toddlers stomachs are only the size of their fist, but he eats enough to fill both of my fists, maybe both of David's and Gracie's. And he's just on the move all the time - climbing, crawling, biting, playing - what a difference from Gracie at that age.
I'm feeling a lot more energy these days, and for the first time in months, I'm feeling creative again - so, I have a few projects in the works, and am really excited about doing some "fun" stuff again.
The fall weather is supposed to start sometime next week, and we can't wait. It will be so great to wear sweatshirts again. Not to mention our birthdays are coming up... then the holidays, and pretty soon, it will be the end of David's night shift for this year.

jenn

Picky Eater

So, after a week or so of unruly behavior - I think we finally figured out what Peter has been SO grumpy about. He does not want to be a baby anymore. He wants to climb, get into trouble, eat bugs and eat "big kid" food. Today alone, he ate a whole waffle, a bowl of applesauce, and a bowl of macaroni and cheese! (not to mention the dozen animal crackers, cheerios and other finger foods)
It has been an eventful week since family camp. We all came back feeling "sick" - I had stomach cramps, and so did Dave and Gracie. We ended the week with Gracie and I hugging toilets, etc. In the meantime, Dave started night shift (for the next 4 months). As usual, when night shift comes along, the family schedule of events has really changed. I'm hoping to stay on a more strict schedule so as to ward off insanity and also, so that the kids and I will stay healthy and happy. So, this week was our trial run, and we're doing good so far.
For the last 3 months we've been planning a yard sale, and the day is finally approaching. Like always, cleaning out all the "stuff you don't know why you have in your house" is very therapeutic. It's pretty amazing how much stuff you accumulate in such a short amount of time - and all the stuff you actually put in a box and move to the next house, and then never use. I'm just really looking forward to reducing the clutter in our home, and getting things super-sleek-organized around here. Hopefully if there's less stuff in our home to collect dust, it will be easier to keep clean and organized - and with another kid on the way, I need all the help I can get.


jenn

CDA or bust...

We just spent four days on Lake Coeur d' Alene at the Schram family float house. We encountered a lot of "firsts" with Gracie and Peter. Peter's first dip in a pool and lake plus his first ride in a swing, Gracie's first boat ride, first dip in the lake and her first time shooting a water gun at daddy.
We got to visit all the grandmas.... Carey, Nanny, Trilby and Rose and "silly Grampa" a.k.a. Mark. It never matters how long our stay is in North Idaho, it always ends up being a whirlwind tour.
It's an absolutely beautiful spot, and the lake is definitely a relaxing place, but it still seems like we barely got there before having to leave again. The kids did great on both 7 hour trips to and from Coeur d' Alene and they got along great with cousins Hailey and Madison, and doggy "Sassy".
My only "goal" was to take at least one nap while we were there, and on the last day, I actually accomplished that one! I think it was for almost 2 hours, so that's like a world record with 2 kids running/rolling around.
Dave got to golf a course on the NIC campus, and I think we ate chocolate chip cookies every night, so overall I'd rate this vacation an A.
We've been home a few days and are now gearing up for Cornerstone Family Camp this weekend. We'll be leaving Friday and will return on Monday. Family Camp has never failed to deliver long lasting memories and huge spiritual breakthroughs, so I'm ready for a weekend-long soak!!
Usually, around this part of a blog entry, I find some poignant thought or "deeper" idea, so that you know that I'm "on the level" - but this week, I'm just thinking "bring it on God"! I'm ready for whatever God has in store for us. I know when we found out I was pregnant again, our "missionary" plans came to a stand-still, for the time being, but I know that God wasn't just speaking to us for a season, and now being silent. I know that there are specific reasons why we are here, in Nampa, at Cornerstone, and in our neighborhood - so maybe those reasons will be revealed to us this weekend. Seek , knock, ask - right?
Bring it on, God! - Where are you leading us?

jenn

My Great Grandpa - Evert Roberts 1913-2006

Wow - I’m not sure where to start. I know for certain that my great grandfather, lived a full and joyful life. I know that he is finally with Jesus, and loving every minute of it! I keep remembering what my husband and I referred to as “grandpa’s arkansas laugh” - the one where he’d be nearly in tears, totally uninhibited and laughing with eyes closed tight, and mouth, wide open (I’m sure he even slapped his knee when he laughed like this). I’m sure that when Grandpa’s earthly vessel was no longer able to breathe, that his spirit went to meet Jesus in the heavens, and when he met up with that “great cloud of witnesses”, he broke down into his “arkansas laugh”. To come face to face with his maker and be enveloped in an embrace of love like he’s never known, and that he had longed for his entire life. I miss him, definitely - but I know that he is in the exact place he preached about for years.

I have some favorite memories I’d love to share with you - things that make me smile, and maybe shed a tear or two.

My grandfather was an extremely proud man, this was sometimes referred to as “stubborn”, but in most instances it was a joy. I am grandpa’s first Great granddaughter, and he was so proud of his family. Whenever we’d go to lunch, or dinner or come across anyone that didn’t know us, he’d make sure to introduce us, and emphasize that I was his GREAT grandaughter. I also have had the pleasure of giving him his first and only great great grandchildren, and he was endlessly proud to introduce Grace and Peter. (Not many people have great greats). * The picture above is of Grandpa and Grandma holding Grace, she is about 1 day old and we were on our way home from the hospital. We stopped by to introduce her to her great grandparents. Grandpa cried and laughed and cried some more.

He used to always say that we should eat dessert first, so there’d be room for it. And I think it actually hurt his feelings if we were “too full” for a dish of ice cream after lunch. He took so much pleasure in “treating” his family to dinner, and would always say “now, you kids, get whatever you want!”.

Grandpa was always so interested in what was going on in the kingdom of God. And I remember after our church camp a couple years ago, Grandpa wanted to hear all about it. David and I told him the story of the Holy Spirit falling so heavily on us at camp, that we had laughed and rolled on the floor for hours on end. I wasn’t sure how Grandpa would respond to this story - but he just sat there weeping. When he was finally able to speak, he told us how wonderful it was that God was moving like that. Then he told us the story of the Spirit falling on him when he was 14 years old at a revival tent meeting and how he felt the call of God so strongly on his life from that moment.

I loved my grandpa so much! and I loved watching him love other people, he was a kind, wise and compassionate man. I’m so proud of my spiritual inheritance in the Kingdom of God. The memories I have , of the countless lunches at Applebee’s or Elmer’s and the joy of each of those visits are memories not to be forgotten.

The last time I saw Grandpa at the nursing home, he was pretty sad - and a lot frustrated. We asked if we could pray with him, and he just began to cry. We prayed with him, and he prayed and blessed us - I’m so thankful for those precious moments spent with him. I know he appreciated our visits, and always asked us to come back again.

Thank you Lord, for Grandpa’s life and legacy! Here’s a song that I keep thinking of when I think of Grandpa. If you’re family with the “old days” of MGT, there used to be a prayer time before the Sunday evening services, and usually it was just about silent... but Grandpa would begin to sing (if you know him, you know he didn’t have a beautiful voice), but he would begin to sing , “Glory, Glory! Hallelujah - Hallelujah! Glory, Glory!”
Thanks grandpa!

jenn

I had an appointment with my Dr. today. She isn’t completely sure how far along I am. Somewhere between 8 and 12 weeks. I must admit, both numbers seem like I’m pretty far along - especially since we haven’t known for that long. So, I have to go back on Monday for an ultrasound with a specialist, so she can determine my due date.
We got to see the little baby “bump” - and see the chambers of the heart beating and everything, so that was really exciting. Knowing that all this “gagging” and sleeping has been for an actual reason is comforting somehow.
David and I have been talking about the crazy shift our lives have taken in the last 2 weeks. And at times have even questioned whether we were on the right track or even really hearing God for the last few months. On Monday during small group, David shared that with the group, and we had the most wonderful encouraging words and confirmations about where we are and what we had been planning. Brian Portteus reminded us that even though we didn’t follow-through with selling our home and David quitting his job, that our willingness to give all those things up was counted as a sacrifice - and that we had blessed God by putting it all on the line for Him. (Brian, you have no idea how much your words blessed us!) - I was reminded of Abraham and Isaac (because David’s lil sis Kristina reminded me) - Abraham, had to walk all the way up to the alter with his son, but if he hadn’t taken a knife with him, it wouldn’t have been the sacrifice God had asked for. Even though, God provided another sacrifice, Abraham had the faith to walk up there with his own son - and that’s the sacrifice God asked for - even though it’s not the life He ended up taking.
So, as we enter another journey of pregnancy (did I mention that our Dr. thought it was really humorous that she was seeing us so soon after Peter??) - I just want to thank God for his favor on our lives. For blessing us with so much joy and such calm and content children. For filling our home with laughter and with love. And for giving us the desires of our hearts, even when we don’t expect it. He is good, and His love endures forever!!

jenn

Curious & Curiouser

The last few months have been so interesting. I’m not sure where to start. I’ll try to make this brief, but informative. Before we started our small group up again (after a 5 month break), we felt like we were supposed to change the format of that group. We were being called to pray. During our first prayer meeting, David shared a vision he’d had of God dancing with him. And how, it was important to hear God’s voice, but maybe more important to be intimate enough with Him that we could follow his lead - and move forward in the steps that He was guiding. An hour or so later, David was driving to the store and saw a new neighbor moving furniture in his home alone - David jumped out of the car and helped him with the furniture, and the others that were still in the truck. It ended up that this new neighbor had just moved to Idaho with a group called Missionary Aviation Fellowship (you may have heard of them, or seen End of the Spear, a movie about their founders). Anyway, when our neighbor said that he just spent a few years in Venezuela flying for MAF, and had just moved to Nampa, with the group’s headquarters, it made David start to think about Brazil again. We began to research some things online, and look into the organization that David was with in Brazil back in 1999 - PAZ (Project AmaZon). After a lot of reading, and day-dreaming, we saw that they were in desperate need of volunteers. Not a lot of thought was given to it, we both went about our regular days, but I was having trouble sleeping at night, and all I could think of was Brazil, and what it would take to go there. After about a week of this, I shared with David how I couldn’t get it out of my mind, and really felt like it was something we should pursue. David was so relieved to hear it, he had been feeling the same way, and was wondering how he was going to convince me. He felt like it was a desire that had always been alive since 1999, and that maybe the reason why it hadn’t happened yet, was because we hadn’t tried. I sent an impromptu email to PAZ , and received a quick response about how desperately they needed help and how blessed they were to be hearing from us. Needless to say, in a matter of days, our worlds were turned completely upside-down. It’s amazing how a change of future plans like that, can effect every single area of your life. How could we afford this? What would our kids do? When could we be ready to go? We just started moving one step at a time... let’s fill out the paperwork. Let’s give our reference forms to our pastor. Let’s tell about 5 people. Let’s wait. Let’s wait.... let’s wait some more. (The email process between here and there takes a lot of patience). In the meantime, we’ve been having waves of excitement and waves of wanting to puke. Thinking about quitting David’s job, selling our home, moving to another country, staying there for 6 months, deciding whether it is what we’d like to do long term. So, many questions, and really none of them being answered. We felt like we were being called to go, and at the same time not knowing when or how. We knew we weren’t supposed to be telling everyone we knew, until we had definite dates from PAZ, and were putting our house up for sale, etc. In the meantime - more waiting. The references forms were given to the appropriate people, and still more waiting. They won’t approve an application until they’ve reviewed all the documents. While waiting, and going back and forth in waves of anticipation and utter, sweat-drenching fear - knowing the whole time that God is completely in control of all of this.
For the last 3 weeks, I’ve been praying “God, give us something really obvious, an obvious sign, something really unmistakable so that we’ll know that what we’re planning in 6 months is what you’re planning for us.”
Then on Tuesday, He answered us as simply, and as obviously as He could. I took a pregnancy test. And the whole time, while I was waiting, I was praying “God, Your will, not mine, Your timing, not mine...”. As I read the test, I nearly fell over, “this can’t be right... I must be reading this wrong” - “maybe I should read the directions again”. “oh, ok, um, ... David???!!! can you come here for a minute??”. Yeah, I’m pregnant again. I go to the doctor in a week or so, and she can tell confirm all this, and give us dates and such (but I did take 2 tests and they both say “yep”).
Certainly, not the timing I was thinking of, but such an obvious answer to our prayers. “Not right now, you guys!” At the same time, I feel like God is standing here with a grin on His face... “you kids... I love you so much!”.
So, in the end, I don’t even feel like he squashed our dreams and desires to be missionaries in Brazil, He just loves us enough to give us more time than we thought we had, and another baby to add some more joy to our home.
So, we are in a bit of “stall” mode right now, our focus on our immediate future has changed to things like “how can we fit 3 car seats in our 5 seat car?” “Do they make 3-seater, strollers?”

God is good, and His love endures forever!
Jenn

A Time For Everything

Our trip to Red Mesa, AZ and back had a bit of everything. Check out our photo pages for a glimpse of what we experienced. On the “journal” side, it was really intriguing to learn about the Navajo culture, and about a lot of history they don’t teach you in school.
One of the many highlights of this trip was our excursion to Mesa Verde National Park, right outside of Cortez, CO. Here you can find the ruins of the Anasazis. There is a lot of speculation as to what happened to these people, or why they moved from their cliff dwellings - but the best explanation I heard was, “it was time for them to move”.
I had packed a book called “Is that really You God?” - by Loren Cunningham (the story of what led Loren to begin YWAM back in the 60’s) - I can’t read in the car, because I get pretty sick, and we never had any time for reading, while we were down there, but this morning, on the last leg of our trip, I really felt like I was supposed to try to read it in the car. I read about half the book between the Idaho border and Twin Falls, and didn’t get sick, but was definitely inspired to be continuously seeking the voice of God, knowing that he wants to speak to us.
What I’m trying to get at is this: just like the Anasazi way of life, came and went, we, as Christians have to be ready to move in whatever direction God is leading. And if that means an end to our stable “cliff dwellings”, then so-be-it.

jenn